July 2010

                This was the best Independence Day ever!  July 4, although rainy and overcast, showcased OAK’s entry into the hottest of new sports, the  Hot Air Multi-Sport All-Weather Balloon or HAMS-ALL Ball.  Every avid extreme sports fan, including all OAK Over-50 Extreme Sports Players (OO-50 ESP), thrilled at the debut of HAMS-ALL Ball.  Little did we expect Outings Chairman Jordan London’s announcement that he secretly purchased a HAMS-ALL Ball complete with OAK’s colorful graphic and logo! 

                Jordan’s stupendous foresight, placed OAK squarely in competition with local cities as they planned their yearly fireworks homage to Independence.   Leadership and negotiation skills, however, smoothed contentious tempers as Jordan laid out OAK’s generous plan to the City of Hollywood.  Rather than the same fireworks off the pier or barge, OAK’s own Pyromaniacal Crew (PC), fresh from training at the HAMS-ALL Ball Fire-Ball Institute Training Center (HAMS-ALL FBI Train-er) would suit up and present the best darn fireworks this side of China.  That’s right:  China, where fireworks were invented and are still made for USA Independence (but not from foreign debt) Day (conspicuous) consumption.

                You might imagine that fireworks and Balloons don’t mix, more than once anyway, but the HAMS-ALL Ball is not the average Balloon.  Rather than silk construction, the HAMS-ALL relies on thin, “knitted” stainless steel construction, actually 3 layers of exquisitely thin hollow-core knitted titanium.  I’m told that the titanium “thread” is so fine that it is lighter than spider web.  Never having actually weighed spider web, I can’t personally vouch for the veracity of the company’s claim.  However, I have seen OAK’s new HAMS-ALL, and I can tell you that fully “gassed” (that’s fancy balloon talk I picked up from our PC guys and gals!) the HAMS-ALL is nearly see-through!  It’s so lightweight that a mere 3-4 people (3 average-size men or 4 petite women) can easily carry it from vehicle to set-up site.  The vehicle?  A small pickup truck or SUV is sufficient—that tells you a lot about  this new sports “toy”.  Hollow core lends heat resistance, much the same as hollow handles on cooking post do. The HAMS-ALL Ball won’t melt with from a few fireworks.  Blast a hole through it?  Nope.  The knitted construction is flexible enough to move aside for a split second, quickly “healing” as the projectile leaves the sphere.  The trailing gases serve to maintain buoyancy lost when a bit of hot air escapes.

                The crowd went wild when OAK’s balloon floated into position and dropped anchor.  Hollywood and OAK’s publicity efforts convinced tens of thousands to brave inclement weather for the unique event.  Our fireworks were the highest, brightest, most spectacular in South Florida history.  OAK’s PC team basked in starlight as they were hailed as City Heroes by the Mayor of Hollywood.  The PC team, cheered by their new fans, sent up fiery encore after fiery encore, ending with a crescendo of red, white, and blue stars and stripes.  Finally, they weighed anchor and wafted away.

                In weeks and months ahead, look for more OAK HAMS-ALL Ball Stunts.  Next up:  Sky Diving.  Who needs to pay for a loud and expensive airplane?  Not us.   We have the OAK HAMS-ALL Ball and a soon-to-be-certified Pack-a-Chuters, who will personally guarantee your safety and satisfaction. If not fully satisfied, you get first dibs on next year’s crowd-pleasing Pyromaniacal Tour of Hollywood Beach. That’s a guarantee you don’t get from every HAMS-ALL Team!

Happy Celebrations,

Ruby